Please Cite your sources as well. I can tell you didn't make those up, you copied and pasted from some website, you didn't even bother to change the font.

Anyway, here is one about Wal Mart from ROFL Central (apparently because all the good domains were taken), tweaked to make sense and be "grammatically correct".

________ \/
Jennifer, a manager at Wal Mart had the hard task of hiring someone to
fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumés she found
four people who were equally qualified. She decided to call the four in
and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of
them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, Jennifer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?"
Pink Hayden replied, "A Thought; It just pops into your head. There's no warning."
"That’s very good!", replied Jennifer. "And, now you sir?", she asked Luigi.
"Hmmm…let me see, A Blink! It comes and goes and you don’t know that it ever happened. A Blink is the fastest thing I know of."
"Excellent!", said Jennifer. "The blink of an eye, that’s a very
popular cliché for speed." She then turned to 'Cootie, who was
contemplating his reply.
"Well out at my dad’s ranch, you step out of the house and on the
wall there’s a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across
the pasture the light in the barn comes on in less than an instant. Yep, Turning on a light is the fastest thing I can think of".
Jennifer was very impressed with the third answer and thought she
had found her man. "It ’s hard to beat the speed of light," she said.
Turning to Weice, the fourth and final person, but the only girl, Jennifer posed the same question.
Old Weice replied, "After hearing the previous three answers, it’s obvious to me that the fastest thing I know is Diarrhea."
"WHAT?!" said Jennifer, stunned by the response.
"Oh sure", said Weice. "You see, the other day I wasn’t feeling so
good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could Think, Blink, or Turn on the Light, I had already pooped my pants."
Weice is now the new greeter at a Wal Mart near you!
You probably will think of this every time you enter a Wal Mart from now on!
/\_____

Enjoy!

- 2 Bunny

sorry
and i forgot to say they weren't my jobs
i dont know who made them though....
my friend sent me them....